Burining Out
I can't hide it any longer...I'm burning out. I sense the symptoms like the common cold. As academic commitments pile up, ministry in Hall and Exco and even ministry in church all sum up to an extreme tension that is just ready to give way anytime...
I feel the fatigue every morning when I get up from bed... I feel the a dangerous slight of dread each time I'm requested to speak, to share, to lead worship or to teach... Don't be mistaken. I love doing God's work, but I sense the weight of every commitment down on me. Threatening to crush me anytime. There is only a slight joy or passion in each engagement. I pray and ask God everyday for strength. Yet the burden remains heavy and difficult to carry...
So am I doing what I think is God's work or am I fulfilling God's work?
There is a fear of growing apathy and task orientated ministry. But the burden is heavy on me.... I can barely breathe.
And in academics, I doing the barest minimum. Sometime below that minimum. It's a frigthening place to be....
Still I made in for Gab's sending off party today. Because I know I didn't have one and I how much it would have mattered to me 4 years ago if people I came. Still I sense the growin gulf between me and my church friends growing... this doesn't help the situation very much
Am I worryin too much and having insufficient faith or am I truely a lighted lamp running out of oil? Coz at the moment I feel like that lamp....
I feel the fatigue every morning when I get up from bed... I feel the a dangerous slight of dread each time I'm requested to speak, to share, to lead worship or to teach... Don't be mistaken. I love doing God's work, but I sense the weight of every commitment down on me. Threatening to crush me anytime. There is only a slight joy or passion in each engagement. I pray and ask God everyday for strength. Yet the burden remains heavy and difficult to carry...
So am I doing what I think is God's work or am I fulfilling God's work?
There is a fear of growing apathy and task orientated ministry. But the burden is heavy on me.... I can barely breathe.
And in academics, I doing the barest minimum. Sometime below that minimum. It's a frigthening place to be....
Still I made in for Gab's sending off party today. Because I know I didn't have one and I how much it would have mattered to me 4 years ago if people I came. Still I sense the growin gulf between me and my church friends growing... this doesn't help the situation very much
Am I worryin too much and having insufficient faith or am I truely a lighted lamp running out of oil? Coz at the moment I feel like that lamp....
3 Comments:
u know, theres serving God, and then theres loving God. which one are u doing?
activities are meaningless if there is no joy and reason.love first. serve later.
and ur oil WILL run out. simply because u are using the wrong oil. u need divine grace and sustenance, not the finite limitations of man.
Chill bytch. =). Burnout is a 3-4th year syndrome. Go and eat ice-cream and relax and it will all be better.
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